Waiting room muse

As I was hanging out in the hospital waiting room, I decided to write. It's been a while, and though I've been promising an Everyday Jesus story, you're still waiting. Maybe I'll work on that after this post (that is, if I don't fall asleep).

My Aunt (great aunt, actually) Marsha was admitted to the hospital today. She works at the hospital, which proved convenient when her face went numb, arms started tingling and head started spinning this afternoon. Currently, she is sleeping. Tomorrow will be a day full of tests for her, and hopefully, some answers will come. In the few minutes she was awake while I was in her room, she told me the doctor said it could have been a mini stroke.

Our other family members were here earlier. They left when she started falling asleep around 10:30 p.m. I came to the hospital after work, shortly after 11 p.m., to stay for the night. This isn't the first time I've spent the night in a hospital room or waiting room. A couple of months ago I stayed in my grandma's room with her, and my grandpa spent 21 days in the hospital a couple of years ago. That was a long month—August 2007. (Don't worry, no one stayed the entire time. But my grandma got pretty darn close.)

Every other time I've stayed in a hospital with a friend or family member, the hospital has been quite a ways away. Tonight, that is not the case. And because of that, I can't help but feel judged by the nurses walking by. It's like they're wondering why I'm here.

To be honest, I'm not doing anything. I probably could easily go either home or to a cousin's house in town. But here's why I'm staying: I think that regardless of if I'm in the room with my aunt or not, she knows I'm here, and I give value to that knowledge. I place weight on the fact that she knows someone is waiting here with her. Do I really thing she would care if I went home? No. She told me I didn't have to stay. But possibly by knowing I want to stay will be helpful.

It's more the principle of it. I think there is value in moral building. And if this situation was, God forbid, more serious, I hope that knowing someone stayed all night would be encouraging in some strange way. That's what I want to tell the nurses that keep walking by looking at me strangely.

I could be completely wrong; I have no idea. But I'm still going to stay.